Lipson-Shiu Corporate Type Test - The Satirical Corporate Personality Assessment
Discover your true corporate type through this hilariously honest parody test. Categorizing people as Intelligent/Stupid, Lawful/Chaotic, Important/Unimportant, and Good/Evil.
In a world of earnest personality assessments, the Lipson-Shiu Corporate Type Test stands out as a brilliantly satirical take on workplace dynamics. Created by Andrew Lipson and Daniel Shiu, this tongue-in-cheek assessment categorizes corporate personalities along four refreshingly honest axes that capture what really matters in organizational life.
The Birth of Corporate Truth
While traditional personality tests dance around difficult truths with diplomatic language, Lipson-Shiu cuts straight to the chase. The creators recognized that in corporate environments, whether someone is introverted or extraverted matters far less than whether they're competent or incompetent, helpful or harmful.
The Four Brutal Axes
Intelligent vs. Stupid
- Not about IQ, but functional workplace intelligence
- Can they understand instructions?
- Do they solve problems or create them?
- Will they grasp the obvious?
Lawful vs. Chaotic
- Do they follow rules and procedures?
- Can they work within systems?
- Are they predictable or wildly erratic?
- Will they respect organizational structure?
Important vs. Unimportant
- Their actual influence in the organization
- Do decisions flow through them?
- Are they in the loop or out of it?
- Does their absence matter?
Good vs. Evil
- Basic moral orientation in workplace
- Do they help or harm others?
- Are they constructive or destructive?
- Can they be trusted?
The 16 Corporate Types
The Leadership Tier
ILIG - Archangel The ideal leader: intelligent, lawful, important, and good. Unfortunately, the test notes, "none have yet been found." If you get this result, you're probably lying or delusional.
ILIE - Grand Vizier Ruthlessly effective climbers who've made the system work for them. They've left no evidence of their trail to the top. Examples: Sir Humphrey, Lex Luthor.
SLIG - Middle Manager Important and well-meaning but not quite bright enough. Perfect for positions requiring loyalty over intelligence. The backbone of bureaucracy.
The Worker Bees
ILUG - Mensch The rare underling you can trust to understand instructions and get things done. These people actually do the work. Example: Florence Nightingale.
SLUG - Drone Worthy but dull, follows orders unquestioningly. Highly prized for low-skill tasks and middle management. Excellent for tasks requiring persistence over brilliance. Example: Forrest Gump.
ICUG - Inventor Given to solitude and shoe-staring. Loves puzzles and generates off-the-wall ideas. Best left alone with occasional steering. Example: Leonardo da Vinci.
The Dangerous Types
ICIE - Torturer Devotes considerable talents to making the world as unpleasant as possible. Building an evil empire may be a fringe benefit. Avoid at all costs.
ILUE - Gremlin Follows instructions to the letter while using ingenuity to subvert the spirit. When you feel a sharp pain in your back, that's the ILUE. Example: Draco Malfoy.
SCUE - Jinx The embodiment of Murphy's Law. The last person you want on your team. Better to pay them to work for your competition. Example: Toad.
The Wild Cards
SCUG - Apologizer Nature's cruel joke - wanders from disaster to disaster with only the best intentions but none of the facilities to fulfill them. Examples: Jar Jar Binks, Frank Spencer.
ICUE - Mad Scientist/Hacker Combines innovation with a dangerously antisocial streak. May employ someone called Igor and mutter about "showing them all." Example: Victor Frankenstein.
SCIE - Natural Disaster Problems arise unpredictably since even they don't know what chaos they'll cause next. Best contained or avoided entirely.
SLIE - Toady The classic yes-man who has somehow achieved importance despite limited capabilities. Dangerous in their eagerness to please those above while crushing those below.
SCIG - Entrepreneur Well-meaning and creative but lacking the intelligence or importance to execute effectively. Often found starting doomed ventures.
SLUE - Martinet The rule-following sadist who lives to enforce every regulation, especially the petty ones. The DMV's finest.
SLUG - Footsoldier The backbone of any organization - not bright, not important, but reliable and good-natured. Does the unglamorous work without complaint.
Taking the Test
Website: www.andrewlipson.com/lstest.html
Time Required: 5-10 minutes
Cost: Free (as all good satire should be)
Format: Multiple choice questions with darkly humorous options
Warning: "Compiled by ICUEs, so don't expect sympathy if you don't like your results"
Sample Questions and Approach
The test features questions that cut to the heart of corporate life:
- Your response to impossible deadlines
- How you handle incompetent colleagues
- Your relationship with organizational rules
- What you do when no one's watching
Each question offers responses ranging from noble to narcissistic, with most people finding their truth somewhere in the uncomfortable middle.
Why This Satire Works
Uncomfortable Recognition
Every office has:
- The ILIE plotting their next move
- The SCUE breaking everything they touch
- The ILUG quietly keeping things running
- The SLUG apologizing for existing
Cathartic Honesty
The test provides relief by:
- Naming the unnamed office dynamics
- Acknowledging some people really are problems
- Admitting importance isn't distributed fairly
- Recognizing actual competence is rare
Universal Truths
Regardless of industry, every workplace features:
- Political operators who produce nothing
- Disasters waiting to happen
- Unsung heroes doing real work
- Well-meaning incompetents
Practical Applications
Team Analysis (Unofficially)
Use the framework to:
- Identify who actually produces value
- Spot potential troublemakers early
- Recognize political operators
- Appreciate your ILUGs
Self-Reflection
The test prompts honest assessment of:
- Your actual contribution
- Your impact on others
- Your competence level
- Your organizational role
Coping Mechanism
Understanding colleagues as types helps:
- Reduce frustration with SCUEs
- Navigate around ILIEs
- Appreciate SLUGs
- Protect ILUGs
The Deeper Commentary
On Meritocracy
The test exposes how:
- Importance doesn't correlate with ability
- Evil can be quite successful
- Good intentions don't equal good results
- Chaos gets promoted as often as competence
On Corporate Life
It acknowledges that:
- Some people make everything worse
- Politics trumps performance
- Incompetence is randomly distributed
- Traditional assessments miss crucial dynamics
On Human Nature
The framework reveals:
- We all know who's actually important
- Intelligence manifests differently at work
- Moral choices happen daily
- Some people are just disasters
Cultural Impact and Legacy
The test has achieved cult status among:
- Tech workers and programmers
- Academics suffering through committees
- Anyone who's worked in a large organization
- People seeking vocabulary for office frustrations
Online communities regularly share:
- "My boss is definitely an SLIE"
- "We hired an SCUE and everything broke"
- "Our last ILUG just quit, we're doomed"
- "Taking bets on which ILIE gets promoted next"
Using Lipson-Shiu Appropriately
Don't Use For:
- Real hiring decisions
- Performance evaluations
- Serious team building
- Academic research
- Legal proceedings
Do Use For:
- Breaking tension about office dynamics
- Bonding over shared frustrations
- Adding humor to difficult situations
- Recognizing universal patterns
- Enjoying brilliant satire
Common Reactions and Interpretations
"It's too accurate!" - The most common response, usually nervous laughter
"I know exactly who each type is" - Universal recognition of the archetypes
"We're all ILIEs here" - Corporate self-awareness
"I got Archangel!" - No, you didn't
"This should be required reading" - From suffering ILUGs everywhere
The Lasting Message
The Lipson-Shiu test endures because it does what proper corporate assessments can't: tell the truth. It acknowledges that:
- Some people really are more trouble than they're worth
- Organizational importance is arbitrarily distributed
- Competence is rarer than we pretend
- Good and evil are alive in every workplace
Your Corporate Reality Check
Taking the Lipson-Shiu test won't improve your performance or heal your team dynamics. What it will do is make you laugh, possibly uncomfortably, as you recognize every type from your own office experience.
Whether you're an ILUG doing the actual work, an ILIE scheming your way up, or an SCUE leaving destruction in your wake, the test holds up a mirror to corporate life with brutal honesty and brilliant humor.
The creators' disclaimer that "none of these terms should be construed as a negative value judgment" is delivered with such deadpan sincerity that it becomes the perfect final joke. After all, how could being labeled "Stupid," "Chaotic," "Unimportant," or "Evil" possibly be negative?
In a world drowning in corporate doublespeak and diplomatic assessments, the Lipson-Shiu Corporate Type Test stands as a monument to calling things what they are. Sometimes the most profound insights come wrapped in satire, and sometimes the best personality test is the one that admits what we all know: some people really are intelligent, lawful, important, and good - and others really, truly aren't.
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